giving it time to grow

This captures how I've been feeling about this week pretty well.

Recently I've had a few folks ask me when I'll let people read my story. If you'd asked me this any time within the last two years up until a few months ago I probably would have responded by shoving all the scenes and unorganized planning papers at you with a sense of eager desperation. There's something about the excitement surrounding the start of a new story that turns me into an obsessed over-sharer. Part of that comes from the fact that I like to talk things out to get a grasp on what direction I want to go in with plot and characters, etc. [Tim was bombarded with a lot of this when I first started putting the idea together] Having people you trust and can use as sounding boards are, in my opinion, a really important part of writing, at least in the planning stage. The further along I've gotten with this novel the less I've shared, though. I do still ask Tim for advice on this point or that on occasion but it's been months since I asked anyone to read over what I've been writing and I think that's for the best.

When we get passionate about something we naturally want to share it with other people and that's as true for writers [at least in general] as it is for anyone/anything else. You only have to ask about their story to spend the next two hours listening to them gush about the amazing idea they're working on. And that's good. Enthusiasm should always be a big player in your work otherwise, why are you doing it? But something I've discovered about sharing my writing when it's at such an early stage is that almost every time I've done it I lose that enthusiasm and the project sputters out and crawls into a dark corner, perhaps to be rediscovered again, covered in dust and forgotten dreams, years later.

I didn't want this to happen to Malmark so I had to make the conscious decision to keep myself from shoving it down anyone's throat who asked about it. A bonus, here, is that now the story is allowed to grow unencumbered by the opinions and suggestions of others. Again, opinions can be good and they can be really helpful if you're trying to puzzle something out but sometimes there's a certain pressure that accompanies other people's opinions. Personally, I start to freak out over the idea that if I don't take every suggestion given to me that I'll offend people. I realized that, as an author, I'll need to develop a thick skin in that regard especially whenever it comes to editors and such but I think it's probably healthier for a fledgling story to get through a draft or two before those problems even have a chance to happen. The first draft is just you telling yourself the story so if you're listening to the suggestions of everyone else then who's story are you actually telling?

I feel a little guilty saying "no" when people ask if they can read what I'm working on. The interest is always flattering and I don't want to turn anyone away because they can't read it right now but my responsibility is to this story and making sure it has the time it needs to develop its identity before the world sees it. That being said, please ask questions if you have any because I will still talk your ear off for hours about it.  : P