My biggest achievement this week is that I have written, at least a little, everyday which hasn't happened in an embarrassingly long time, let me tell you. It definitely helped that I had promised to show you guys something this week. I've been going back and forth as to what I should share because, while I love feedback, I don't want to give everything away, besides, it's not nearly polished enough for that yet.
In order to understand this and further bits that I share, I'm giving you some context for the story to hopefully explain terminology. As always, comments and questions are welcomed and encouraged.
This first part is a section out of a sort of prologue I have in the works. I'm not sure if I'll keep it or not, getting rid of it would require a lot more exposition in the first chapter and I don't know if I want that there.
People are born with their destiny
written in their skin. Marks like black tattoos aren't visible at
birth but reveal themselves after the onset of puberty. Each person
has two marks, one that indicates a primary talent or skill and a
second that divulges a person's defining character attribute. The
exact timing of their manifestation, their position on the body, and
their order are completely unpredictable.
Citizens are required to record all
marks in the public record for census purposes but this procedure
also identifies those that manifest marks that identify them as a
threat to others and the community at large. In a proactive effort to
ensure the safety of the community, individuals with such marks,
called Malmarks, are banished as soon as their threatening mark is
known regardless of age or situation.
This second bit is a peep from the first chapter. The speaker, Mona, is reflecting on her family's reactions to finding out that she is a Malmark.
When a Malmark is found, no one is to
speak to them, even their family, but my father's expression, and not
his silence, was the only proof I needed to fully realize what I was.
The look on his face cut me to my center though I don't have a name
for the emotion I saw there. He blinked once, then let go of my arm.
The absence of his touch, warm and always gentle, seemed to wake me
up and I started sobbing in full force. I tried, through my tears, to
apologize for hurting them all, for bringing this embarrassment on
our family, and countless other things that I wasn't even sure I was
responsible for. How could I be? I hadn't done anything. I was
apologizing for my future.
Nice! It really sounds interesting :) The pacing is good in that paragraph too. Keep up the good writing! I need to be more active on my writing projects too :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Kiana! It is definitely tough to keep up with it sometimes, especially if you're not in a writing class :P
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