Tuesday, September 11, 2012

it's all about the attitude


           Getting kicked when you’re down sucks, we all know it. But getting kicked when you’re trying to get up can be even worse. As I’ve mentioned, I struggle to be internally motivated in my writing. Thankfully, my WIP has been patient enough to lurk in the back of my mind for months despite my startling neglect of it. For some reason, the last few days have been unusually productive when it comes to at least my mental development of the story [especially considering the start of school and that fact that I don’t have thought room to spare on such “extra-curricular” stuff, I’m supposed to be graduating here!] and today I finally talked myself into pulling out the trusty ol’ notebook and carving out in crude language the scene that had been much more gracefully painted itself in my head.
            Sometimes, that’s all you can manage and I remind myself that all the questions and holes that I discovered in the writing of that scene are positive things because now I know more ways that I can make my characters better. Positive things, right? There are always more of them in our little writing blunders and mishaps than we think.
            So, considering my own relatively low standard for daily writing and the fact that I managed to acknowledge holes as questions I can build on, I was feeling pretty proud of myself. I had started to pick myself off the sticky floor of lazy-bum-writer-dom. And then the kicking came. One of the hardest things to swallow when you feel like you aren’t succeeding? The success of other people, especially if it seems like they didn’t even have to try. A coworker shared the awesome [because it really is awesome] news that her husband is getting published. A book that he wrote over the summer and that she helped him edit has been picked up by the first [and I think only] publisher that he submitted it to. Awesome right? That’s the kind of sudden success that I think all aspiring writers dream of and I really am happy for him.
            But I’m going to come out and say it, a little part of me [okay, maybe a currently significant part of me] is not only jealous, but resentful of his success. I think we’ve all experienced something like this in our lives, whether it is related to writing or some other achievement or recognition that we really want. It happens, but it doesn’t help me at all to feel that way. So what do you do when it happens to you?
            I’m a psychology major so, in keeping with the critical self-analysis that we’ve been focusing on in my classes this semester, I immediately realized that I’m never really upset with the people I hear about who have these great experiences. Instead, what I’m doing is projecting my dissatisfaction with myself and my own failure to pursue and realize my talents and goals with the determination I know I should. It can be easy, when you’re picking yourself up and you get “kicked” by the fortune of others, to just lay back down again and tell yourself that you’ll never be that talented, driven, lucky, etc. But when we do that we are wasting a perfect opportunity for hope. I get so caught up sometimes in comparing my success with that of others as if it’s a competition and there are only so many winning slots. Instead of despair, though, these pieces of news should remind me that success as a writer can happen to me. If it can happen to some random kid who doesn’t even want to pursue writing as a career, then why not me? I know I have lots of things to work on, but that’s going to be true of every area of my life for my whole life, it’s not a bad thing. The only thing standing between me and writing a good book and then getting that book published is myself. GO TEAM!
            Now that we’ve gotten the pep-talk out of the way…
            There’s a step in between realizing that you can do it and actually doing it. Actually, it’s more like a pit of fast-acting quick-sand than a step. In order to make it through said pit alive, we need to actually make changes to the things that aren’t working [you know what those things are, and if you don’t, take some “me time” and think about it, you’ll thank yourself].
If any of you play Portal/Portal2 and don’t have a natural aptitude for video-games [me] then I have the perfect example. Portal is a visual-spatial puzzle game that makes you think outside of the box. The way Portal asks you to problem solve isn’t usually in line with your normal thought patterns and so the game can be frustrating and stop you in your tracks with levels where you can see where you need to be but have no clue how to solve the puzzle of getting there. As my husband is constantly reminding me, an important key in playing Portal is not being afraid to die. This seems counterintuitive but, as you aren’t given a limited number of lives or tries on a level, the purpose of the game is to make you explore visually and mentally. The point is to get you to think in new ways and sometimes you have to try a lot of weird ideas to break out of your old ways of thinking before you find the answer. This relates to writing in a significant way for me because, just as I am inexplicably cautious of dying in Portal, I am also afraid of writing badly. I’ll get inspiration for a new scene in my WIP but when I write it out it doesn’t look as shiny as it did in my mind and I stall out, unable to push past it. Sometimes the expectation of such a let-down keeps me from trying to write at all. But, just as in Portal, this paralysis is pointless. The best thing about writing is that nothing to write is permanent, you can, and probably will change the majority of your first draft and that’s okay. So much of the time, solutions and good books only come from our willingness to dive in, die [not literally] or write crappy scenes that you hope no one ever reads before you get a chance to edit them. The quest for instantaneous perfection is crippling and it’s something that I need to overcome if I’m ever going to give Sam a story, let alone an ending.
What do you need to conquer in your writing? Have suggestions, pep-talks, or success stories to share? Email me at emily.buhler.loveless@gmail.com and we’ll celebrate together!

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