the same ol' romance

There are as many types of relationships as there are people but the mainstream trend in YA literature seems to have latched on to one particular type of relationship and it's disconcerting. We can all probably think of a handful of books that feature a heroine who falls for the somehow unworldly, mysterious, and often dangerous male counterpart, frequently over the more average, amiable male friend.

This kind of relationship where the guy is aloof, often older, and leaves others in awe simply by existing isn't new but the focus it's been given over the past several years, especially in YA, makes me a bit worried. I think that literature should represent a wide variety of everything but if you're going to narrow your scope why can't it be on something that's positive? This romantic relationship [found everywhere from Twilight to Divergent to the Mortal Instruments series and beyond] is typically unhealthy. These kinds of romantic story-lines glorify a relationship in which there is little in the way of real respect between partners and the women are often reduced to innocent children who only survive the ordeals of the story because Mr. McHunking Mysterious is there to lend an ever wiser, more experienced hand.

I take issue with this kind of relationship on a lot of levels that I won't go into here but my main problem is that this is the pervasive example teens are being given today of what a relationship should look like. Believing this idea is what leads to things like the absolute farce of a "relationship" in 50 Shades of Grey. When we perpetuate the idea that the desirable men in life are the ones that make snide remarks, don't particularly care for the feelings of others, and constantly keep you dangling on the end of a string that's what girls internalize. That's what they come to want in a relationship which sets up situations in which they are more easily taken advantage of and abused, sometimes without realizing that the treatment they are receiving isn't what they deserve. Mystery has long been an appealing factor but I think there are healthier ways to integrate that aspect of attraction into a romance.

It can be easy, as writers, to fall into similar patterns as what has been done before. If you're developing a romantic story-line, it's natural to reference back to those romances you've read before. Reading is a vital part of developing craft as a writer as it's the best way to learn from other people. But that means that what you read influences your own work and that can cause problems and help perpetuate ideas we don't realize we're aligning our work with. The best way to avoid that, of course, is to read a wide range of books. Identify what you do and don't like about them and keep that list as a reference for yourself. If we don't keep those tropes and trends we don't like ready to hand they may find a subtle way to sneak into our story. As Mad Eye Moody would say:

plotting and best laid plans

I want to talk a little bit about subplots today because I know a lot of other people have the same struggles here as I do. Creating an overall plot is where most stories begin but if we only address the main plot line then the stories come across as one-note and uninteresting. Subplots are where most characters really develop and they help give substance to the overarching story line. They're pretty crucial [unless you're writing short stories where you'd typically stick with one plot line for brevity] but not everyone is comfortable with creating and executing them - myself definitely included.

The idea of creating multiple smaller plot lines and weaving them into the main story arc can be really daunting. Creating a rich complexity of plot for your readers can create chaotic complexity for the author. For me, having subplots feels like I'm juggling eight different balls that are constantly changing in shape and size, while trying to climb the mountain that is the primary plot. Have I mentioned that I don't juggle?

CleverGirlHelps, over on tumblr is a blog that I recommend if you're looking for any kind of writing related advice. She has posts on just about anything you might be researching and if you can't find it in her archive you can message her directly. Just this week she had an awesome post about subplots with links to blog posts that have covered the subject beautifully. There's a lot of helpful info and advice there so I definitely suggest checking it out if you're struggling with this element of story writing. I really enjoyed reading through the resources.

I'm going to have to start charts and lists to keep track of the subplots in Malmark as the story grows to make sure details don't slip through the cracks. While it can be a lot of work, it's really exciting to see how much more growth you can find in a character when you fill your story out with subplots.


In personal writing news, today I'm hitting my 30,000 word goal which is pretty exciting for me. It means that my scheduling and attempt at true, consistent writing is working! I'm also realizing, though, that I'm at 30,000 since November [so, not including a lot of the start of story that I'd written before NaNoWriMo began] and I'm just today getting to the first in a series of pivotal moments that occur before the ultimate conflict is even revealed. I haven't plotted the entire story out chapter for chapter but even lacking that detailed of an outline I would guess that I'm just finishing the first third of the story. When I explained that to Tim this morning he jokingly asked me if this was going to turn into a series like The Wheel of Time and I realized that, while I don't anticipate Malmark growing to quite that scale, it is turning out to be longer than what I'd expected.

Who knows, in the course of editing it may whittle itself back down to fit neatly in one book. But it might not. We might have a series on our hands. Heaven help me. I did not intend for this to be a series.

Well, whatever it turns out to be in the end, I'll never know until I get there so for now, I'm writing until I do.

giving it time to grow

This captures how I've been feeling about this week pretty well.

Recently I've had a few folks ask me when I'll let people read my story. If you'd asked me this any time within the last two years up until a few months ago I probably would have responded by shoving all the scenes and unorganized planning papers at you with a sense of eager desperation. There's something about the excitement surrounding the start of a new story that turns me into an obsessed over-sharer. Part of that comes from the fact that I like to talk things out to get a grasp on what direction I want to go in with plot and characters, etc. [Tim was bombarded with a lot of this when I first started putting the idea together] Having people you trust and can use as sounding boards are, in my opinion, a really important part of writing, at least in the planning stage. The further along I've gotten with this novel the less I've shared, though. I do still ask Tim for advice on this point or that on occasion but it's been months since I asked anyone to read over what I've been writing and I think that's for the best.

When we get passionate about something we naturally want to share it with other people and that's as true for writers [at least in general] as it is for anyone/anything else. You only have to ask about their story to spend the next two hours listening to them gush about the amazing idea they're working on. And that's good. Enthusiasm should always be a big player in your work otherwise, why are you doing it? But something I've discovered about sharing my writing when it's at such an early stage is that almost every time I've done it I lose that enthusiasm and the project sputters out and crawls into a dark corner, perhaps to be rediscovered again, covered in dust and forgotten dreams, years later.

I didn't want this to happen to Malmark so I had to make the conscious decision to keep myself from shoving it down anyone's throat who asked about it. A bonus, here, is that now the story is allowed to grow unencumbered by the opinions and suggestions of others. Again, opinions can be good and they can be really helpful if you're trying to puzzle something out but sometimes there's a certain pressure that accompanies other people's opinions. Personally, I start to freak out over the idea that if I don't take every suggestion given to me that I'll offend people. I realized that, as an author, I'll need to develop a thick skin in that regard especially whenever it comes to editors and such but I think it's probably healthier for a fledgling story to get through a draft or two before those problems even have a chance to happen. The first draft is just you telling yourself the story so if you're listening to the suggestions of everyone else then who's story are you actually telling?

I feel a little guilty saying "no" when people ask if they can read what I'm working on. The interest is always flattering and I don't want to turn anyone away because they can't read it right now but my responsibility is to this story and making sure it has the time it needs to develop its identity before the world sees it. That being said, please ask questions if you have any because I will still talk your ear off for hours about it.  : P

it's going to be a big big year

Hey all! I meant to post last week, honest I did. Tim and I both got fairly sick over the Christmas break and I was still recovering last week and a lot of things slipped my mind as I was sleeping and using all the tissues in the known universe.

In lieu of missing New Years Day proper, I want to talk about resolutions and goals. I've never seriously created a list of New Year's resolutions for a few reasons, the primary ones being that I think it's a little silly that people wait until New Years to make new goals but also because I'm not very good at sticking to my goals and I don't see the point in making a list of things I know I'll never look at again. By and large, I still hold those opinions but this year I've actually made myself a little list of realistic goals I want to meet this year.

In August last year I decided that I'm going to write this book for reals. I've been rolling the idea around in my head for two years and if I'm going to do it then I ought to just get going. As you all know, I participated in NANOWRIMO this last November which was a good jumping off experience for dedicating myself to getting this thing written. December didn't follow up very well with guests and holidays so I'm looking, once again, to reapply myself. I have a strong suspicion that this first draft will end up with a word count higher than 50,000 but not being completely confident in that and not having the faintest idea of what it would end up at, I'm committing myself to hitting 50,000 words or the end of the story by March 6th. Why March 6th? Well, I wanted this goal to be reasonable. I know I can, on most days, write three pages in a day without greatly disturbing the rest of my schedule. So, 50,000 words divided by my average word count per page times three - planning on writing five days a week with weekends for catch-up as needed - put me at March 6th.

I crested the New Year with 20,000 words so that's 30,000 to go - a bit of a daunting number, honestly. But I've heard before that the key to accomplishing goals is the break them into bite-sized pieces. I don't feel like I have to move heaven and earth to get three pages written a day so I'm much more likely to do it and it's been going well so far! Ideally, I'll get the story finished before the start of summer [if it takes longer than 50,000 words] and then I'd like to have the first edit completed by the end of summer. That will, in many ways, be a bit more intensive than writing the first draft but at that point I'll be transferring my written draft to a word program which is a process with editing built into it and editing from there should go faster.

The idea of actually accomplishing all of this is at once exhilarating and terrifying. I mean, I've dreamed of writing a book for ages and if I manage this it'll only be the second time I've ever finished a story since high school [and that one doesn't count for so many reasons]. It's exciting to get close to your dreams but there's also that sense of "what then?" Obviously there are answers for that in this case. Namely, a billion more drafts before I consider trying to publish it, but I'm trying to keep myself from hyperventilating this year. Lets add that to the list of resolutions.

happy holidays!

Happy Christmas Eve Eve!

This will be our first Christmas on our own and while I had initial reservations about it, I'm getting excited. For the last three years we've spent Christmas at Tim's parents' house in Delta, which I love because the holidays were always a time for family when I was growing up so I have this need to have people around me. This year, though, his parents are taking a long overdue vacation to see their kids that don't live in our valley so we're on our own. We will be having one of Tim's sisters and her husband over for Christmas Eve, though, which should be a lot of fun! We always went to my cousin's house for Christmas Eve dinner in New York. The idea of staying snuggled up indoors on a lazy Christmas day has grown on me lately but I'm glad we'll have some company tomorrow

We finally got our tree up and decorated over Friday and Saturday [I know, so behind] after I spent a day and a half removing the pre-wired lights. Let me tell you, whoever puts those suckers on is not getting paid enough, not nearly. I also understand why pre-lit trees cost so much more. Honestly, though, I'm willing to put up with having to re-wrap the tree in lights every year to avoid potentially needing to replace the entire tree every other year because some of the lights go out and you can't fix them [the reason I removed the lights on ours this year]. Tim thought I was a bit crazy but I didn't really mind taking them off and as for putting them on, we always had a real tree, growing up, so I'm used to it and our tree has never looked this good, if I do say so myself.

Winter has been making periodic attempts to set its claws in over the last week. We've finally dropped out of the mid- to upper-50s and we're starting to get some precipitation, mostly in the form of rain. It did start out pretty snowy yesterday but by the time I left work it had all melted and today it's sunny, if frigid. The weatherman predicts at least 3 inches of snow on Christmas which would be appropriately seasonal and pretty but we'll see what happens. Only a fool trusts the weather forecast implicitly.

I only have to come in to work on Monday and Tuesday next week and I'm looking forward to a lazy vacation. I've set a goal for myself to break 20,000 words [continuing my word count from nanowrimo] before the new year. I know that's only a goal of 5,000 words for the whole month but it feels attainable and considering the holiday season as well as the other events that broke up my writing schedule this month, I'll be happy with attainable. Right now I'm trying to find pictures of people that remind me of my characters which is fairly simple for some but others, like Percy [who is undergoing a change of ethnicity by her own volition], are a bit more challenging. My search terms are often too specific or too many to bring up any good results so I might end up Frankenstein-ing pieces of different pictures together. Man, I really need to get that cork board!

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday wherever you are! And if you don't celebrate any of the current holidays, create your own! We should never really need an official excuse to celebrate life  : )

starting to feel more like christmas

Finally some snow!

Hey guys! Sorry for the somewhat unexpected radio silence for the last two weeks. I wasn't planning on posting last week because I had my friend out from New York but I had fully intended to post on the fourth. Work just got a little crazy those last few days before I took a vacation.

I know I'm a bit early this week but I figured I felt like blogging and it makes up a little bit for missing two weeks. I might post next Tuesday as well since Thursday will be Christmas and I don't think I'll be online much that day  : P

So a lot has actually happened in the last two weeks. I went to an author signing event at a local library where I met Shannon Hale and saw several other famous authors like Ally Condie [of the Matched series], Brandon Sanderson [Wheel of Time, Stormlight Archive, Mistborn], and Brandon Mull [Fablehaven] . I was surprised to see Ann Dee Ellis sitting at one of the tables further down the room. I had Ann Dee as a teacher for my Middle Grade and YA writing class at BYU three years ago and this was the first time I'd seen her since then. I hadn't brought Everything is Fine with me because I didn't know she was going to be there so I browsed the books they had for sale until I found The End or Something Like That which I purchased because I wanted to read it and because I wanted an excuse to talk to her. Ann Dee isn't as well known as a lot of the authors that were there so when I wandered over there wasn't a line at her table and she recognized me before I even got up to the table. I have such a hard time with remembering people's names and I don't consider myself to be terribly memorable so it came as a surprise that she remembered me from three years ago. It was awesome to talk to her again and I'm kicking myself for not getting a picture with her but she did sign the book with "can't to read yours!" which has double impact for me coming from a writer and former teacher.

With Emily here this last week we got to do a lot of fun stuff [guys, I need to go to aquariums more often] but I didn't get any writing done. I'd planned for that but now that I'm getting back to my regular schedule I've been dragging my feet about picking up the pen again. Writing consistently can be such an easy habit to fall out of - in fact, I don't think it's really a habit people ever get into, not really. Each day can be a struggle to keep going. The habit is in making yourself sit down at your desk or computer every single day and at least trying. I'm resolving to try tonight even though my evening is kind of booked. I'm going to do it. Even if it's just a sentence. 

Last week, while roaming B&N, Starbucks hot chocolate in hand, in true nostalgic fashion with Emily, I picked up The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman. I haven't read a lot of his work though I've been aware of him as an author for a long time. I have read Stardust [though if I'm being honest, I prefer the movie ending] and I've been meaning to read Coraline since I saw the movie [it waits patiently on my list]. I've heard a lot of talk about The Graveyard Book within the last year so I was intrigued to read this spooky, magical story.

Confession time - and I'm more shocked than ashamed of this - but I haven't read a book since August when my unofficial Wheel of Time hiatus began. The lack of literature has been a note in the back of my mind for the last three months and while I had plenty of reasons to not be reading as voraciously as I typically do, it felt really weird for books to not be such a constant part of my life. In high school I had several instances where friends told me that I didn't act like myself unless I was up to my neck in some book or other and I've realized that the longer this dry spell got the less I felt like myself. So on Friday I dug into The Graveyard Book and then The End or Something Like That. It felt so good to read again. To inhale characters and worlds created with such imagination and emotion.

I adore The Graveyard Book. It's shelved in the youth section of my B&N and I can see how it's appropriate for that age group - spooky but not disturbing, despite some of the events that occur. Gaiman has a skilled hand at describing horrific things in a way that doesn't traumatize you but also somehow doesn't lose any of its impact. In this way, The Graveyard Book is suitable for younger readers but it doesn't come off as childish or simple for older readers. The chapters could be set up as separate short stories, and I understand that one was published that way, but put together you feel the flow of time that is growing up for Nobody Owens. Growing up in a graveyard with ghosts and other supernatural creatures for parents and teachers isn't an experience any of us can relate to but Gaiman spins a world where everything Bod encounters seems natural and reasonable. First-class world-building here, folks.

I finished The End or Something Like That last night and it was with serious effort that I kept myself from sobbing. Ann Dee Ellis writes realistic fiction that is absolutely saturated in deep emotion. Emmy's best friend Kim died a year ago and Emmy has been doing everything she promised in order to meet Kim's spirit on the various dates they picked out beforehand but nothing is working out the way they expected and Kim hasn't made any appearances. The book is set over the course of two days - the day before the one year anniversary of Kim's death and the day of - with frequent flashbacks. Ellis's 1st person PoV is all consuming in a way unique to her. I'm awful at explaining it but I feel more completely a part of Emmy's mind and heart than I ever had with other characters. This makes for a breathtaking experience as Emmy struggles to come to terms with Kim's death, the events that led up to it, and what her life will be without her best friend - who Emmy will be now. This story and these characters really resonated with me. Ellis has a somewhat off-beat writing style that allows her to convey each emotional punch with incredible force as the characters feel them. Beautifully written and deeply felt, this book will touch a lot of hearts.

something to read this time

I'm still not really sure where my novel is going at the moment and writing has been slow this week. So last night, after a conversation with Tim about a bill recently passed in Utah that would allow prisons to use a firing squad in situations where lethal injection isn't available, I wrote what I suppose would be called  a scene along the same train of thought. It was refreshing to write something that's outside my current box. I'm fairly pleased with it, as morbid as that might sound, and I thought I'd share it for my post this week. It's not at all graphic but if this topic isn't your cup of tea you might want to skip.

[I have no intention or interest in starting a debate about the death penalty or the way in which it may be carried out so please don't make this a platform for an argument.]


***


     I never imagined it ending this way, my life.
     I'd known the "how" for a month but I'd never really pictured it. Strapped to a chair, legs, arms, head, staring at a wall with a slit in it just big enough for the rifle barrels. I don't think it's something I'd have been able to imagine before being brought into this grey room.
     There's no panic, just a sort of wonder.
     I wonder about the men behind the rifles, maybe women. How many wished the prison had been able to obtain the chemicals for a lethal injection so they didn't have to be here. How many didn't care.
     My lawyer had wanted me to care, to fight. In thirty years there had been unnumbered chances to fight. I bet she knows the number. But I hadn't cared when I wrecked that train. I didn't see why I should be allowed to care now. I hadn't imagined it this way, but I wouldn't argue.
     173. It should have been 174 but few things end the way we expect them to. I chose this seat when I flipped that switch and pushed that lever forward. I think some part of my mind must have known that then but I didn't dwell on imagining this moment. It was supposed to be 174. Today it would be. It would be quick, but a death thirty years slower than planned.
     Nothing comes out the way we plan. 174 plans, interrupted, all but one put eternally on hold. I think that's my legacy in life, ruined plans. The people behind the rifles probably had plans for today before the drug manufacturers held up their shipment.
     The straps press into my skin. The chair arms are cold. How long will my arms bear the pattern of the restraints? I wonder if I'll get to see, after. I can still taste the banana pancakes I had for lunch. They put the bananas in the batter instead of just on top. That was nice. The two taste completely different.
     I wonder how much longer. Maybe there's a problem. Maybe one of the riflemen got a call that his wife just went into labor. I don't mind.
     How many others will sit in this chair and see this slit? Jason, Kobe, and Ben are all on the row, others must be too. Kobe's still fighting his. Jason told me to tell him how it is. Maybe they'll have the chemicals again by the time their afternoons come around.
     I don't think any of them would imagine this either.
     It's quieter than it's ever been in thirty years. Even at night you could always hear the other guys breathing, muttering in their sleep, crying. The steady step of the detention officer pacing the floor. There might be a shuffling behind the wall but I feel like I've pulled inward, all I can hear is my own pulse. I wonder if that really is what waves sound like. I've never been to the ocean. I was headed there once, but I never made ---