a rainy, congested sort of day

Because that's what it's been. Seriously, there was non-stop rain today which didn't exactly help with my sore-throat-turned-runny-nose. Gross, I know, but we've all been there. I haven't really gotten much done this week. My biggest goal has been to get out of bed before 9 which has been eons harder than it should be. Today was the first day I managed it which makes me feel sad and successful at the same time.

BUT GUESS WHAT. I got the job!!! If you come to this blog via facebook, you've known that for a few days now but you guys, this has been the best thing that's happened to me in over a month. I figured that I would enjoy about a week or so of my post-student life with very little to do and then get bored. But if I'm being honest I was bored from day one and things kind of just kept devolving from there. I started sleeping in later and later and just not really caring about anything. Eating gradually went by the wayside [I've always been bad at eating consistently in general since I left for college] because making food, even something as simple as toast or microwaving a bowl of soup just sounded too strenuous. Monday was the worst my sleeping has been. I slept through my alarm [I used to be able to count how many times I'd hit snooze and how many were left before the alarm shut off but I can't anymore] and when I finally roused myself to check the time I was startled to see that it was almost noon. The worst part was that I knew full well that I could keep sleeping - and not the kind of sleep where you're forcing yourself to stay in bed and your eyes kind of start to hurt and you start getting uncomfortably warm under all those blankets because your body has woken up. That scared me. So I resolved to try getting up earlier but that's hard to do if you don't have something to get up for. Thankfully, the Lord is mindful of me and I finally got a call back from UVU on Tuesday extending the job offer to me. I start work on Monday and I am so stoked about it, though it may not look like it. It's just a part-time position which is perfect. I'm not a career-oriented woman. I just don't enjoy working that much. So this will [hopefully] be the perfect balance between being home and getting stuff and writing done here and being out of the house for at least a few hours every day. I didn't realize how much I would miss being outside even just for travel until I didn't have a cause or a means anymore.

So yays!

The other amazing upshot to this week was hanging out with my best gal-pal on Tuesday. There are few things in life as relieving as talking to someone who understands what you're saying even when you don't know what it means. We made a sweet B&N run where I finally got my hands on a copy of Extremely Load and Incredibly Close, which I have finished already, of course. Which means I need more books. Again. Well, hey. I did just get a job... Anyway. I am a huge fan of the movie adaptation of this book - measured, obviously, by the ridiculous amount of sobbing that I did while watching it. The book has some pretty significant differences from the movie [to be expected] but somehow the essence of the stories are the same and much of the plot and characterization was carried over almost exactly. Foer's writing style takes a little getting used to [a conversation in dialogue happens all in one paragraph mixed in with exposition and the very rare tag] and each character's narration [it's told by Oskar, his grandmother, and his grandfather though Oskar is writing to the reader, his grandmother is writing to Oskar, and his grandfather is writing to Oskar's father] differs in format as well as voice and the accounts, while they sometimes cover the same information and events, do not occur in strict chronological order so you have to be paying attention to know who is talking and what/when they are talking about. I don't mean to say that it's a difficult read, just different. I really enjoyed the read, especially the back story for Oskar's grandparents that comes in bits and pieces. The book provides so much more room for the development of those characters than the movie could. I kept coming across phrases and ideas that made me stop and want to mesmerize them because of how true they were, or how poignant. There are a million stories about loss and tragedy and how we cope with it but nothing is quite like this book. Oskar's voice is detached and analytical even when he's being emotional and that somehow brings out whole new layers of pain from a character who should be too young to have to feel it but whose story needs to be told and read for all of those who have felt that pain and haven't been heard.

two projects come to a close

I made these for youuuuu!

Okay, so technically I made these for me but I'm making this post for you as I've been long overdue finishing these. Remember that shirt I told you I was making from scratch? Well, after not touching it for over a week, I committed to finishing this beast today. And believe me, as tame as it looks, this was a beast.

I used left overs from two of my sewing class projects as well as some new bias tape. I was happy to find that I had just enough green fabric to do the top, though sadly not big enough pieces to do it without that center seam but hey, it's not so bad. I'm ecstatic to have those side seams finished because that means no more pesky threads! I love that poke-a-dot fabric but man is it a pain sometimes. I need to tack down the ends of the bias tape I used to finish the sleeves but other than that, it's done! And my sewing machine still works and I still have all my fingers, haha. 

And a picture of me "modeling" my creation because it looks different when you're wearing it and, hey, I can't remember the last time I've been in a picture.

 So I recently acquired a new sweatshirt as the temperature plummeted unannounced recently and my old sweatshirt really isn't up to another season. I bought my old sweatshirt at the end of my freshman year just before flying home for the summer and, bored as I was at home, one day I randomly decided to embroider the left sleeve - pictured below. When I first did it it looked a lot better and there weren't so many visible ends poking out but the last three years have demanded a lot from this poor garment, so much so that it's almost see-through in certain spots now.

"Time is making fools of us again."

Of course I decided that this new sweatshirt should be christened in a similar manner but I chose to go after the back this time because it gave more room for possibilities. The hardest part of this process is always selecting the quote and I agonized for a day or two over a list that I made. I finally settled on this one because I thought the whimsy lent itself well to the style of embroidery.

Now, I don't want anyone thinking that I might have free-handed this. I didn't because I can't even write in straight lines on blank paper and I didn't want my whole design to come out completely lopsided. Of course, I totally spaced process pics again but I just took a piece of tissue paper, cut it to fit the back of the sweatshirt, then drew a center line and lines for the text which I penciled on in big, simple script. When I finished that, trying to keep the type as centered as possible, I pinned the whole she-bang to the sweatshirt and threaded my embroidery needle. Happily, I had the exact color of thread that I had wanted to use but I still needed to buy another skein of thread to finish the whole design, even having split the thread in half to 3 strands [which I would advise anyway because the full 6 would be way to chunky for my liking]. I just stitched through the sweatshirt and tissue paper, making up the style of the script as I followed the proportion and spacing of the penciled type. I don't love how every letter turned out but overall I'm pretty satisfied with the end result  : )

 "I know who I was when I got up this morning but I think I must have been changed several times since then. - L.C."

[Bonus points to whoever can tell me where both quotes come from without googling them.]

As theoretical and academic as my pursuits generally are, sometimes you just have to do something with your hands, you know? 

In other news, I had a job interview on Monday for a part time position that was pretty much exactly what I've been looking for. I feel like the interview went super well but I was told that I would hear back by Wednesday and I haven't heard anything yet... I'm trying not to panic. A friend works in that office and she doesn't think any decisions have been made yet, for whatever reason, so I guess I just have to be patient. That can be hard for me though as I've long believed that it's better to know - even if it's bad news - than to not know. At least then you can react, haha.

september has been somewhat sporadic

Heeeey guys. Last week life decided to land me with a mysterious case of the stomach flu that put me out of commission for the majority of the week. But while I was sick I learned a few things, aside from the fact that I would still rather have a cold for a week rather than throw up even once. For example: graham crackers do not make a suitable substitute for saltines - let that be a word to the wise. The worst thing about throwing up is how paranoid it makes me of eating any food at all. It probably takes me an additional day or two to recover every time I've had the stomach flu or food poisoning because it takes me ages to be willing to eat anything other than saltines and chicken broth, though ginger ale and sprite are a heaven sent substitute for straight water ><

Anyway, as a result, the shirt still needs finishing, though I did get bias tape on the neckline which goes a long way to making it look better. What I really need to do is finish the side seams and do the bottom seam since that fabric frays more than I shed but I can't do either until I've settled on the sleeves which is the big hang up. I can't decide on length and I'm getting tired of sticking myself in the arms with pins as I try to visualize the different options.

It's been almost a month since I started my school-less, job-less life so I suppose it's pretty sad that yesterday was the first time I've left the house during the day for something more extensive than checking the mail. Tim takes the car to work so I'm left with the bus system if I want to really get anywhere and let me tell you, I do not trust the bus system. It's a great program but they recently changed their routes and times and it seems like every place you look for route info gives you a different schedule so you can bet I planned the crap out of my little adventure yesterday and even then I was paranoid that while I was on the bus it would start taking a different route and how would I cope with that, huh? How?! Despite my barely controlled panic, I made it safely to and from campus. How old am I again? >< I went in to pick up my final short story for the writing class I had at the start of the summer and the fact that I couldn't remember what it had been about meant that I didn't argue with the B+ the professor had given it. We don't always write things we like, haha.

Autumn never lasts longer than a month here and if you were to judge based on the weather yesterday and today, it only lasted two weeks this year. The start of September gave us serious heat and sun but yesterday the temperature plummeted down to low 60s, high 50s with a cold wind. I love fall so I hope it doesn't disappear on us entirely but I hate that it means winter is coming [hold the GoT jokes, please] because winter is my least favorite season. Yes, it can be beautiful and all but it typically drives me permanently indoors because I can't handle the cold and with as wet as it's been this year, forecasters are predicting that this coming winter will be the worst that we've seen in years. I finally replaced my old sweatshirt last night which should delay my inevitable decent into popsicle-ism. We also got a hair clipper set as Tim was long overdue for a trim. Considering I've never used one of those trimmers before last night, I'm pretty proud of the fact that his head is still attached!

I had been running into mental blocks, trying to work more on my fantasy WIP and I was starting to despair about ever making headway when my brain suddenly switched gears on me. So I've been doing some research for another story idea that's been sitting on my back burner for a long time. I need to do some digging around and find those files/pages that I had worked up the last time I wrote for it but starting here with a somewhat fresh slate is also giving me the opportunity to look at the story idea and characterization with new eyes. The plot is about a kid who has been delivered on the doorstep of an uncle he never knew after his mother's death. It sounds so stereotypical when laid out like that but I am excited about the characters and how easily I'm connecting with them as well as their various struggles. I don't always feel like I have much experience to draw on when it comes to realistic fiction - my life just hasn't been that long or exciting. Sam, David, and Emi, however, feel very much like people I know and theirs are stories I'm confident I can tell.  : )

belated, busy, fingers crossed

Guys, I'm making a shirt! I spent my whole day yesterday making [yes, making] the pattern from scratch, cutting out the fabric and sewing all the main seams. I realized too late that I should have taken progress photos to show you guys  : /  I've had a ton of the nice fabric I used for my sewing class's final project left over and I've always intended to make a shirt from it so I'm super psyched about this. I decided to use some fabric from the button down shirt project we did too and I like it a lot better in this pattern. I feel kind of bad for wasting it on the class project as that's not a dress shirt I'm ever likely to wear but the fabric is getting a chance to shine here. Because both fabrics are wovens, I went with a kimono-style shirt [or, as apparently some Americans call it: a lampshade-style. really? why would you ever equate a piece of clothing to a lampshade?]. I've got all the main seams sewn and now I'm having to make some adjustments to the side seams to fix the sleeves a little and I am feeling a desperate need for marking chalk. Seriously you guys, if you ever do any sewing, marking chalk is the best thing I can ever recommend that you get as far as sewing tools. Hopefully I'll be able to go over to Joann's tonight and grab some so I can finish the shirt this weekend. Then pictures, I promise.

So, in typical style, having reported my good writing behavior last week, I haven't written much of anything this week. I am ashamed. On the bright side, I did get a lot of awesome feedback from my lovely friend Chelsea about the stuff I wrote last week which will be super helpful in preliminary editing. I also found my thoughts turning to an old short story from over a year ago that I wanted to turn into a book but haven't spent much time on. Thus, whilst my epic job search journey continues, I have much to do, hurrah!

I've been keeping tabs on a friend's [and by friend I mean an awesome lady whose blog I've been lurking around for a while now] posts about Dragon Con and the fantastic cosplays she saw there. Super nerd confession alert: I have wanted to go to a convention and cosplay since junior high. As some Utahens know, Salt Lake held their first ever Comic Con this month and while finances and nerves were road blocks for going this year I really really really want to go next year and I'm hoping to have a costume as well. Hey, I have a sewing machine and an imagination, why not? I'd love to have people to go with or see there as it's not really Tim's type of geekery so if anyone is thinking of going next September let me know!

This post hasn't been very writing-y, huh? I am seriously in reading withdrawal. I've had only access to my own, thoroughly read collection for two weeks and I'm craving new things. I did just reread Til We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis. I first got this book for an unconventional research class over a year ago and it was so wonderfully rich that I wasn't prepared to tackle it again until now. For those not familiar, Til We Have Faces is a sort of retelling of the myth of Cupid and Psyche, told from the POV of Psyche's oldest sister, a wonderfully unreliable narrator. I can never criticize Lewis's writing - in fact, his books are the few that I get so excited about that I will actually underline certain lines and passages [this is a big deal for me, as I'm sure some of you avid readers can relate] - and I understood so much more this time around that it blew my mind all over again. If you've never read C.S. Lewis before, I highly recommend this book as well as The Screwtape Letters if you 're interested in a sort of reverse-psychology about Christian ideals. [Lewis is renowned for the Christian themes in his writing as well as his straight up writings about theology. The themes are much less blatant in Till We Have Faces, though, so if you aren't feeling the Christian thing, I still recommend it as it can be read without getting into all of that if you'd rather not.]

jobless but not purposeless

This has been my first week in four years without a job and while the ability to sleep in has been welcome, sitting around the house all day has been less awesome. That really just means that I need to get my rear in gear and work on those projects that I know I have with what's left to unpack as well as other things but motivation has been a bit hard to come by. I've been less and less of a couch potato as the week's gone on, though, so I have hope for my productivity.

My biggest achievement this week is that I have written, at least a little, everyday which hasn't happened in an embarrassingly long time, let me tell you. It definitely helped that I had promised to show you guys something this week. I've been going back and forth as to what I should share because, while I love feedback, I don't want to give everything away, besides, it's not nearly polished enough for that yet.

In order to understand this and further bits that I share, I'm giving you some context for the story to hopefully explain terminology. As always, comments and questions are welcomed and encouraged.

This first part is a section out of a sort of prologue I have in the works. I'm not sure if I'll keep it or not, getting rid of it would require a lot more exposition in the first chapter and I don't know if I want that there.

        People are born with their destiny written in their skin. Marks like black tattoos aren't visible at birth but reveal themselves after the onset of puberty. Each person has two marks, one that indicates a primary talent or skill and a second that divulges a person's defining character attribute. The exact timing of their manifestation, their position on the body, and their order are completely unpredictable.

      Citizens are required to record all marks in the public record for census purposes but this procedure also identifies those that manifest marks that identify them as a threat to others and the community at large. In a proactive effort to ensure the safety of the community, individuals with such marks, called Malmarks, are banished as soon as their threatening mark is known regardless of age or situation.

This second bit is a peep from the first chapter. The speaker, Mona, is reflecting on her family's reactions to finding out that she is a Malmark.

        When a Malmark is found, no one is to speak to them, even their family, but my father's expression, and not his silence, was the only proof I needed to fully realize what I was. The look on his face cut me to my center though I don't have a name for the emotion I saw there. He blinked once, then let go of my arm. The absence of his touch, warm and always gentle, seemed to wake me up and I started sobbing in full force. I tried, through my tears, to apologize for hurting them all, for bringing this embarrassment on our family, and countless other things that I wasn't even sure I was responsible for. How could I be? I hadn't done anything. I was apologizing for my future.

grand adventures

Apologies for the extended radio silence. Between graduation two weeks ago and our trip to Idaho last week to visit my brother and his new baby I've been a little short on internet time. To make it up to you, I have pictures! My mother always complains that my pictures don't have people in them which is largely true so most of the ones I took are of our trip to Yellowstone but I think they're pretty cool.

 Oh look, a graduate!

 I spent the majority of my time in the library in the last four years
[seen behind me, including the skylights]
But for work. I never studied in there if I could at all help it :P

 On our way up to Idaho there was a fantastic sunset.
Unfortunately, I don't have a cool enough camera to really capture it
but I'm pretty satisfied with this one :)

 My brother took us out to some lava tube caves
which necessitated a very long drive
off road which later necessitated a car wash for our new Impala.

 It was pretty hot out that day so I was blown away to feel the frigid air coming out of the cave even just on the walk down the slope. It felt like winter in there and I immediately wished I'd brought more than my poor excuse for a sweatshirt but it was really fun to stumble around in those nature-made caves and I'm completely serious about that!

 After our adventure. A picturesque bunch, haha.
Carrigan and Spencer

 Spencer again and Tim

And Jake, an ever obliging model.

 On our way out to Yellowstone we could see the Tetons!
We were about 2 hours away from them so they are massive.

So many hot pots in Yellowstone! This one was putting off so much steam that
walking around it was like being in a sauna!

 The colors around these geysers and  hot pots from bacteria
and minerals are amazing in their vibrancy.

 So many opportunities for big scenic shots :)

 And you can't go to Yellowstone without seeing Ol' Faithful!
I took a video of it going off so this picture was taken as it was starting to trail off.
The geyser was at least three times higher at it's peak.
It wasn't as epic as I was expecting considering it doesn't really make much
noise at all but it was still fun to see.

 This is the Yellowstone Grand Canyon.
Most of it is comprised of rock the color of that section toward
the bottom which explains why Yellowstone is called Yellowstone.

 There are a ton of other colors in the canyon too.
Each indicates an area where a hot spring was at some point.

 How many hats does it take to shade the youngest
in the family while she takes pictures?
Three, apparently.

We made the 600ft decent to the top of the falls pictured above.
The hike was demanding but the view and the
cool spray from the falls were worth it :)
Tim and my dad. See, sometimes I get people in my pictures.

So tomorrow is my official last day working at the library on campus. I find this distressing for several reasons.

       1. Come Monday, I will no longer have a job. I hate job hunting.

       2. I will no longer have access to the over 10 million books in our collection. [to be honest, getting a library card at the public library may be higher on my priority list than finding a job...]

I have been on the job search for about three weeks now and I can't say that I'm enjoying myself. For one, I have a very limited range of experience having never worked in sales or retail or anything which are the majority of the open positions here. Seriously, telemarketing companies are everywhere. So I'm not sure what I want to do but not much that I've come across sounds appealing. Alas, that we must work for our bread. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a decent part-time job because I don't need to work full time and that would give me more time to sort out our apartment and to write.

GUYS. I downloaded Ommwriter to our desktop and so far I am loving it. I felt kind of silly explaining to Tim why I wanted to use this program instead of Word or Onenote but I'm glad I found it. The absence of distraction is awesome and as close to writing long hand as I've ever gotten on a computer which is great since that's my preferred mode of writing but I can type faster. As a note, Ommwriter doesn't have spell check like other word processors so if you use it, make sure you eventually transfer your work to another program to make edits when you're ready. My only complaint is that the keyboard and mouse are at wonky angles but that's because the computer is currently in the living room so I'm holding both on my lap but hopefully we'll get it moved to the desk in the course of organizing the apartment.

I've been writing pretty consistently this week so far and I want to push myself to really dive into this project. Ideally, I'll be posting little snippets of the WIP here as I go - I'm shooting for one a month. Hopefully I'll have the first bit ready to go next week! I'm excited and nervous to share this with you guys so I hope you like it. As always, I welcome any feedback and questions as I firmly believe that addressing both will help me make this better than it would be otherwise.

breaking schedule

I was originally planning on just posting this as a facebook status but it was too long and it actually sparked a writing idea for me that couldn't wait until Thursday. So hey, writing prompt?

I just saw a commercial advertising Nutella where a mom is prepping breakfast for her kids and husband. As she talks and preps, she keeps answering questions and supplying items her family needs but can't find themselves like backpacks and phones. It's a typical kind of commercial but a really depressing idea just occurred to me. What if this house-wife is depressed because she doesn't feel like her family values/pays attention to her SO she hides those items her family needs so they will be forced to come to her and interact with her?

As awful as I felt for making up this depressing scenario in my head for no reason, I find this character idea intriguing. It might just be worth following up on. I'll let you know  : P