hey guys, hey

Sorry for missing last week! I had effectively backlogged myself with homework projects and test prep so I'm taking a nice breath of fresh air right now before taking another plunge. I'm excited for the end of the semester but getting there can be kind of painful sometimes.

Let me tell you a story about a girl and a wonderful book. As [I hope] many of you know, Lois Lowry released the last book in the Giver collection last fall. Our library initiated the purchasing and cataloging process in September and I promptly put a hold on the book, determined to be the first one to read it. And I was. When I got it. Two days ago. Yeah, someone might want to check in on the cataloging department, just sayin'. Anyway, I finished Son earlier today to great praise and happiness. For those of you who may not be familiar with the series, first of all, GO READ THEM NOW. That is not an option. That is a requirement. There are four books: The Giver, Gathering Blue, Messenger [which I myself didn't know about until last year], and now Son. Each of these is amazing in their own way and the first two could probably stand pretty well on their own [The Giver definitely does since that's the only one a lot of people know about]. The story is dystopian in the best way and I love the first two. I felt a little "meh" about Messenger but it ends pretty differently than the others so I was a little apprehensive about Son when I first got it but I was hooked from the first page. Son ties the previous three together skillfully with the added interest of the main character not having any special ability or "gift" as is the case in the first three. I don't want to give any spoilers but I will say that you get a new glimpse into the community in The Giver and a lot of new information about aspects not explained in that book. There is action, drama, peril, and a satisfying ending that lacked only one thing, in my opinion. Once you've read them come back to me and we can talk about it :P

That was a really lousy book review, but I promise that it's amazing. It reads really easily though your preconceptions about the world may be challenged at times, always for the better. So please, go grab a copy today, add it to your reading list, whatever you need to do to make sure you don't miss out on this wonderful series and its fantastic conclusion!

In other news: guys, guys, guys, guys. IemailedBrandonSandersontoday. Seriously, like, for real. I've been wanting some more experienced advise on fantasy for my WIP and I figured, hey, why not try a fantasy author? His site has a contact option and while I know he's probably really busy and there's a possibility he may not get back to me at all I'm still super excited. I kind of can't believe I did that, and I'm going to be worrying over my email for a while, feeling like it came across as juvenile and a waste of his time but time will tell. So cross your fingers for me! I think I'll be happy even if he doesn't answer my question and I just get a cursory "thanks for the email" kind of thing, haha.

patience and persistence

I've been working on being more accountable to myself this week with my writing and I'm proud of the progress I've made. The new set-up seems to be working nicely : )

My biggest struggle overall is getting into my characters, really getting into them, their voices and thoughts and behaviors. It's a long process that I can't say I'm totally enjoying now though I persevere because I can feel the final result and it is going to be awesome. Character development just takes such a long time and that can be disheartening I think. But I realized today [as my husband has been trying to tell me all week whenever I go on a rant] that it's not unusual to take a long time developing your characters. It takes time for everyone and it just makes them that much deeper, your story that much better.

My realization today came from thinking about my friend's webcomic which you can read here [the link is for the cover page, the first page has a little bit of fan service, nothing that shocking, but if you're uncomfortable with that just skip to the second page and you'll be fine]. I'm super excited about this story that she's working on, the main body of which will actually start getting posted early this summer, but the truly amazing thing to me is that she has been working with these characters collectively since we were in the 8th grade and probably long before that on a less cohesive basis. To total that for you, she's been working with the same characters for nine years during which time she has gone through many variations and approaches to story lines and ideas. I've watched her work develop over the years [as an artist since we were friends in kindergarten when we drew with crayons and crayola markers] and I am amazed and impressed by her dedication to this work.

So I have to remind myself to be patient and, in this case, I am glad to have people to compare myself to. People who haven't written instant-success novels or become immediately recognized for their work. There are people out there who can write a best selling novel in three months on their first try, but they're not the rule, they're the exception. And at some point in everyone's career, a project you love is going to take work. But what work could be more rewarding than pursuing something you love through the drudgery of rough drafts, edits, scrapping and new starts?

telling that little voice it's wrong

We watched some of an Emotion Focused Therapy session yesterday in my Clinical Psychology class and it was a really touching experience. It was so raw to watch this woman working through her struggles with her internal critical self who had been holding her back from completing her goals and things for years explore that voice and where it comes from. Even though it was just a video and none of us knew the client, the whole class related to her and I was no exception. The women had this dream to write fiction [she writes for a living in some other genre] but she struggles with the voice telling her that, while she may be talented, she'll never finish the project and even if she does, it won't be worth anything because that's not a viable avenue for success in life. Watching that hit me really hard because that's a big part of what holds me back in writing as well for various reasons. It was almost like she was speaking for me in a way so I got really excited when the therapist used the technique of the client having a conversation between her critical self and her goal-oriented self because her goal-oriented self, being given a tangible voice, started to fight back. Seeing that change in her was absolutely inspiring and I've been thinking about it ever since.

Our internal critic comes from us but often from the opinions of others as well. Why should we let someone else's opinions, expectations, and definitions of what is "good enough" determine what talents we pursue? Aren't we told to develop all the talents we've been given? Sometimes that may mean that we don't take lucrative jobs in the business world, and why is that bad? These are our talents! Some of us are good at the arts, some in the sciences or business worlds, and some of us have talents I've never even hear of but that doesn't mean they don't count!

I think the world would be a much happier place if everyone tried to balance more of what they like to do with what they need to do. So I'm determined to give that critical little voice what for, and encouraging you to do so as well. Because we are all wonderfully talented people, and we need to remember that.

Today, for me, that means getting a clear plastic folder with pockets.

[EDIT: I've officially hit 400 page views! Thanks to everyone who's kept reading along and any new readers I've gathered :) ]

oh, oh, oh what's magic? do you know?

Heaven help me, I've decided to add a character with magic abilities into my story. I'm really getting in over my head here, first with fantasy, then putting magic in too?! To be honest, I don't really know the first thing about writing a story with magic in it. I've read a few and can say when one is better than another but I can never really articulate why which means creating my own magic is a bit confusing. Thankfully, my wonderful husband has read quite a few books where magic is a prevalent part and his astute observations have already given me a pretty good framework of rules to go by. I'm also reading a book by Orson Scott Card about writing science fiction and fantasy, it's pretty neat.

Speaking of neat, have you guys seen this video yet?

Ed Sheeran - Give Me Love

The lovely Chelsea Poplin of doid and a sublime fool introduced me to it the other day and while there are a few things I'm not super keen on, I love the idea of Cupid as a lonely creature. I do wish the ending didn't...end the way it does, but maybe I just like depressing things better than happily-ever-afters right now.

We just wrapped up our fairy tale unit in my Folklore class and I have to say, I've never actually read the originals of most of our common fairy tales and they are disturbing. For instance: Bluebeard? Not a pirate as it turns out, but a horrific serial killer. The Grimms thought people told this stuff to their children? Good heavens. They do make for fantastic raw material if you're doing a retelling or just trying to incorporate some motifs into your stories so I definitely recommend reading them if you haven't :)

So I'm officially getting into the throws of this semester and not particularly liking it, especially as my recreational reading time has been consumed by academia once again. I did, however, manage to read Tin Swift by Devon Monk [sequel to Dead Iron] before things got crazy so I thought I'd review it.

Devon Monk has a unique writing style to anything else I've ever read. That being said, and considering that it's been a while since I read Dead Iron, it took me about a chapter or so to get into the rhythm of her writing again. I think this aspect may put people off at first but, believe me, it is well worth the time to get into her groove because she has an awesome groove. The Age of Steam series of which Dead Iron and Tin Swift are parts 1 and 2, is, simply put, a steam punk western that takes mysterious Native American curses, witchcraft, an extra scary dose of the supernatural, steam-age gadgetry, and good ol' western gun fights, and throws them all in a pot to see how they play out. Cedar Hunt [our dashing and mysterious loner/cowboy figure] has made many promises: to the questionably sane Madder brothers to find all the pieces of the Holder, to Mae to help her safely home to the coven who's calls are stealing her mind, to Rose to keep her safe and take her along to see the world, and to his brother William to find a way to break the curse they're both under. Tin Swift sees his determined attempts to fulfill all of these promises, discovering dashing airship captains, terrific battles, and a more disturbing Mr. Shunt that we ever saw in Dead Iron [and yes, he can get more disturbing, I may or may not have had nightmares about him]. Monk does a fantastic job of keeping you on the edge of your seat, constantly raising the stakes. Strong characters, delightful dialogue that you'll be compelled to read aloud to others, and just a bit of romance round out this tale of mystery, vengeance, struggle, and gears. I honestly can't wait for the next book to come out [this summer!]. This is a book I'm glad to have on my own bookshelf :)

wanted: research

I've been trying to write a post for three weeks now. It's ridiculous. I'm ridiculous! I could go on like this all day and still not get a post written but I am determined this time.

The good news is, I have been managing some sporadic writing over the past several weeks which is a major improvement for me, especially with the new semester starting with my attempting to drown myself amidst [blogger keeps telling me that's not a word but I know it is so there] a sea of 15 credits, work at the library, ta-ing for a professor, and continuing my internship at ACAFS. I know most seniors like to coast to graduation, apparently I am not most seniors, go figure. Probably the development I have been most proud of is the naming of the group of people Mona belongs to. That may sound silly but it's actually been a big step for me and, interestingly, ties in rather well with the preceding comment about "amidst."

Everything I've ever written, and felt at all good about, has been realistic fiction [primarily geared toward YA]. With this new Mona WIP [I've realized that I name and refer to all my WIPs after the main character which makes me feel rather writer-y], I am making an attempt at fantasy and let me tell you, it's been a learning experience already and I've hardly gotten anywhere. The prospect of inventing a world, culture, potentially different races, grand problems and insurmountable odds as I have typically attributed as being key identifiers of fantasy seems an insurmountable task in and of itself. My throws of writer's block have been founded primarily around the fear that this is beyond me, that my imagination is not imagination-y enough to accomplish what I have set out to do. In this way, the naming of an important group of people is a rather large step for me and one that I am so excited about that I will not share it yet for the superstitious fear that whatever muse of imagination and ingenuity that granted this beam of sunshine to me may withdraw further offerings if I treat it commonly.

You know, I suppose I may have the prose-y sort of language down that one sometimes finds in fantasy novels. I've yet to decide if it sounds pretentious or not. Thoughts?

At any rate, I have recently faced the inevitable conclusion that I must do my research if I am to find any success in this endeavor with Mona. What sort of research do I mean? Well, reading, of course. I have dabbled a little in the fantasy genre but true immersion has never really been my thing and I'm thinking that it needs to be. So, now I am asking for your help. Having recently lost access to the one person I would have immediately turned to for referrals [you just had to leave on a mission right before I needed to ask you, didn't you Veronica?], I need suggestions of books. Where do you think I should start? What are your favorite fantasy books? I would really appreciate any recommendations you have. I can't promise that I will get to all of them considering the rest of my more "adult" schedule in the coming months but I will try and I will review those books I can get to. Then maybe we can have cool discussions about them! So please, leave comments and suggestions and any tips you may have if you write fantasy yourself [because that's cool!].

Thank you to anyone who sticks around to read these inconsistent and often nonsensical posts. I hope that it's worth your time at least part of the time!

the pain of the cure

I've heard it said that drug addicts will not personally seek help until the pain of continuing their addiction is greater than the pain of the cure. So you can lead a horse to water but unless the horse is dying of dehydration, it won't drink.

I was thinking about this yesterday as I struggled with my lack of writing. I've been on Christmas break since the 17th [granted we were out of town until the 19th for our anniversary] and I had promised myself that I would write during the break. Last semester was insane and I seem to be attempting to kill myself with my schedule for next semester so this three week break is kind of the all or nothing for four months. But I wasn't writing.

To be honest, I haven't written anything in a few months really and while Sam has maintained his patient spot at the back of my mind, I was having a hard time making time in my do-nothing vacation days to even make an attempt. I had even been blessed recently with a completely new idea that latched onto my imagination in an infuriating way that suggested exciting possibilities while posing heaps and heaps of questions that I still don't know how to answer yet. I had purchased a new notebook on the last day of finals for the express purpose of devoting it to this new idea, a ritual I seem to have, but I hadn't dared put pen to paper yet. The idea of sitting down and going to the task has been weighing on my mind the past two days like a guilty and disappointed conscience. Yesterday, the mental torment finally reached a level that I could not stand any longer. I tried to avoid it with internet distractions and other things but I could settle on anything and finally I pulled out the notebook and began.

I just finished reading Little Women for the first time [I know, what's wrong with me?] and Amy's assertion that talent is not genius and one cannot make it so has been haunting my brain, further undermining my small attempts to write but I am now determined to set out on this new idea whether or not it proves to be genius because really, if I'm writing with the intent of being hailed a genius I'll never write anything worth reading!

If any of you are in a similar fix, whether it be motivation to write or some other such difficulty, take heart and remember that we can only take one step at a time and that step doesn't have to be perfect. We'll make mistakes, heaven knows my writing is littered with them, but life wouldn't be worth living if we got everything just right the first time.

Goodness, that's a sermon isn't it? Well, in an attempt to lighten the mood, and perhaps make myself more accountable for this new goal by sharing it with you, I'll give you a bit of what I wrote yesterday. It's not much but feel free to give feedback.

--  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --  --

     The excitement that had flashed across my skin moments before was gone and I felt cold in its absence. I stared at the mark, my first, nestled next to the freckle on my left wrist that Gareth always said looked like a bean though I said it was a butterfly. I could feel the mark being etched into my eyes but I had stopped seeing it.
     Don't panic.
     Breath in.
     Don't panic.
     Breath out.
     Don't panic.

     "Mona. Mona are you done yet?" Lauren called from the hallway, banging on the door and making me jump. I choked back a scream and instinctively clasped my right hand over the mark on my wrist, glancing at the door handle. Locking it had always been habit, one that I was now more than grateful for as I saw it being turned back and forth.
     Don't panic.
     "Other people need to wash too, you know!"
     I could hear my sister's foot tapping on the other side of the door, impatient as ever. I dressed as fast as my clumsy hands would allow, tripping into my leggings and trying to fit my head down the wrong hole in my shirt and tunic.
     "I'm coming!" I cringed at the tremble in my voice and almost reached out as if to catch it back but my sister had sharp ears.
     "Are you okay?" The question was four parts concern, one part suspicion. I wished she had kept yelling.
     In my hurry to open the door and escape an inquisition I knocked it into her, standing as she was a nose away from it.
     "I'm fine," I said, pushing past her with eyes down, tugging my sleeves down to my fingertips and willing my voice to be clear and unwavering. "Sorry about the door. Bathroom's all yours."

skyfall

Today I want to talk about a movie. Hey, screenwriters are writers too and if they don't provide some of the most public examples of good and bad writing then you haven't been watching your films close enough!

Tim and I saw Skyfall last Friday. He's been dying to see it since the trailers started coming out but I was rather less excited. Confession: up until last month I had never seen a James Bond movie in my life [MI: Ghost Protocol was also my first experience with MI. I don't think it was supposed to be as funny as I found it but hey, I like a comedy.]. I know, light the torches, send the condolence cards and all that. I guess I had a sheltered childhood :P Anyway, a few weeks ago we watched Casino Royal [the new one] with the wise intention of educating me at least on the basics of the Bond saga before venturing into its newest installment.

That being said, I approached Skyfall with anticipation and came away almost entirely satisfied. It's an action movie that actually has a plot, the actors are brilliant [do you think Judi Dench would be my children's godmother?], the dialogue was witty and engaging.

The first, and least substantial bone for me was when they completely destroyed his house. Honestly, tears were shed. My main complaint is the women. Before you start throwing those lit torches through my living room window, le'mme e'splain [<-side note: exhibit A as to why you do NOT write exactly the way people speak].

There are several characteristics that make James Bond, well, James Bond. He's a legend of sorts and people expect to see those traditional characteristics. Can you imagine how confusing it would be if every actor had completely re-written the character? That's be like the current Spider-man train wreck and heaven knows we don't need more of those [though the newest movie was a vast improvement]. Basically, "womanizer" is probably one of the top 3 characteristics most people think of when they think James Bond. It's become more than an activity he commonly engages it, it's now a behavioral characteristic, like something he can't help or avoid doing because, dude, he's James Bond. Now, our characters need to have distinguishable traits to be identifiable and even relate-able so while you'll never hear me condoning Bond's promiscuous activities, I understand the part they play.

So what's the big deal in Skyfall? Well, today I want to discuss the unfortunate practice performed by writers the world over of including actions, dialogue, and scenes that have little to no relevance to the plot simply because the reader or viewer may have become accustomed to such interchanges in previous installments. Basically, I felt that the womanizing portions of Skyfall, especially those in the very beginning, are completely extraneous and unnecessary. We know Bond likes to have passionate sexual relations with women so I think it could have been safely assumed that he pursued such relationships while "dead." Considering he was obviously unhappy with his "dead" lifestyle, the initial scene was irrelevant [as he has obviously not entered into any exclusive/fulfilling relationship since falling off the map] and distracting.

I'm struggling to really articulate myself here but the basic idea I wanted to get across is that we shouldn't be including anything in our stories that doesn't tie directly in to a story. If you want to take a look at prolific and revered writers, the absence of extraneous information and scenes is something that should stick out to you as a common factor. In Casino Royale, Bond's relationship played an absolutely vital roll to the plot as well as to his future character development, providing an explanation for his future distrust of women and lack of a desire for a real relationship. That, I can appreciate. In Skyfall, though, [I can't vouch for the other films] Bond's sexual encounters seemed more like a crutch, a not-so-subtle nod to what many see as an essential part of the legend if not the actual character.

We shouldn't be using props. In my opinion, Bond would still have been Bond if they hadn't shown him sleeping with attractive women because his character is so much more than that, so much deeper, especially with the introduction of the back story that we find in Skyfall. Because of the exploitation of this sexual aspect of his character I actually lost some respect for the fill and its quality declined some for me. Strong stories are founded on and propelled by strong characters, of which Bond is one. But we have collectively [don't you deny that public opinion influences a franchise this old and extensive] allowed Bond, in some ways, to be reduced to his parts. His sexual behavior, specifically, seems to have become almost a separate entity that surfaces almost separately from the character and story.

I still think Skyfall is a fantastic movie, there is so much to praise in it and I would gladly see it again. I just think it's worth paying attention to the ways in which we let individual characteristics or perceived expectations of our audiences to become paramount over the story and character as a whole. The books and films that truly inspire us are those that have great parts but of which the whole is greater than the sum of them, not the other way around.