of shopping and stories [and a mouse]

I have always had a hard time with spending money on myself. This stems from several things, one of which is the fear that I won't spend it wisely - something I'm dealing with this week. I generally don't buy clothing online because I have an obsessive need to try things on before I buy them, being of a somewhat irregular build in height and shoulder width. But I had some designated "Emily" money set aside [a practice both endorsed and enforced by my wonderful husband who I'm sure is both confused and amused at the miserly manner in which I parse these dollars out] and I found some really great deals on jeans and shirts - both of which I'm seriously in need of for the coming seasons - so I took the plunge and purchased several items. Online. Without being able to try to them on and only vague, crappy sizing charts navigated via guesswork to rely on. The purchased articles should begin arriving sometime next week and until then I am prey to the mutant love-child of anticipation and anxiety. I've changed my mind about how I would spend one million dollars. After paying off debt, putting a down-payment on a house, and throwing a big chunk in savings I would hire someone to design and create all my clothes for the rest of my life so I never have to go shopping again.

I got some super exciting news regarding one of my short stories this morning and I've been debating all day about who to share it with. I really want to talk about it here but, while I don't think talking about it would change anything, I'm feeling super superstitious so I'm going to hold my peace but know that something is coming! 'Cause, ya know, I'm only so good at not talking about something, haha. Woo-hoo! As a side-note: Impostor Syndrome is a real thing and booooy it doesn't waste any time.

 Next on the list of things I'm excited about but can't really talk about: I've gotten the list of short stories and poems that my group is in charge of editing for the spec.fic. journal I'm working with. I did a legitimate kermit-flail when I saw that we've been assigned my favorite piece from reading night. I will fight someone to edit stories like this one, especially after spending a total of eight hours wading through huge piles of sadly mediocre and downright poorly written submissions to find the ones worth publishing. I have seen the slush pile, my friends. Trust me, you do not want to end up there. [Read: get an agent not: stop writing, never write anything again ever. Please keep writing - we need your stories:)]

In parting today I would first like to apologize for the overall lack of content lately. Secondly, I would like to share this picture of a tiny mouse on a dandelion with you:

he's so tiny!

I'm pretty sure this is the most content looking animal I have ever seen and I want to know what his story is, don't you?

blast from the past, question post style

You may have noticed that I missed posting yesterday, sorry about that! I didn't have anything particular planned but I felt bad about missing another week so when I read a friend's blog today where she answered one of those lists of questions a la 2009 I decided to appropriate her idea. It's part apology and part exercise in staying sane on a day when I haven't had much to do. Also, apparently copying the questions over screwed up my usual font and I'm too lazy to figure out how to fix it, so here we go!

1. What single piece of technology makes your life easier?
The hardest to live without is probably the washing machine. I'm not going back to washing clothes by hands, guys, I'm just not.

2. If you had one wish what would it be?
"a happy happy birthday to you from me" - sorry, you give me lyrics I know, I complete them. How about to have enough money to buy all the books I ever want?

3. What does the word "success" mean to you?
Trying.

4. What would your dream job be?
Probably some hybrid of a stay-at-home mom, book writer, party planner, crafter. Maybe it'll still happen :P

5. Why do kids put rings in their eyebrows and nose?
Transference, looking for happiness/validation in the wrong places.

6. What do you respect about your mother?
How service, of her family and other people, has just become almost second nature to her.

7. What do you respect about your father?
He's a good listener, even if you aren't talking.

8. What sport do you like most to play?
Reading is a sport, right? Cause I can do sprints and marathons like no one's business.

9. What sport do you most like to watch?
Soccer and gymnastics. Yes, I'm that person during the summer olympics.

10. What do you feel strongly enough about to protest?
Shower heads that are lower than 5'5". These should not exist.

11. Who is your favorite teacher? Why?
In highschool it was Ms. Katz who would say "that takes ovaries!" and was the coolest English teacher I ever had.

12. What nickname do your friends call you?
Em is the most common but my best friend growing up calls me Buhler since we're both Emily. Only my siblings call me Emmy.

13. What do you know how to say in a foreign language?
I can do some Spanish vocab and basic sentences and I've got a little bit of ASL down but probably not enough to really hold a conversation.

14. What are the qualities that make a good friend?
Cares about your well-being [regardless of mood] and enjoys your company/thoughts without the need to always profit from the relationship.

15. What's the best costume you have worn?
Definitely something my mom made me for Halloween as a kid. She made the best costumes. Either the year I was Hermione Granger or the year I was Princess Leia.

16. If you could break one law with impunity what would it be?
I feel like I don't know enough laws to answer this well. I read once that it's illegal to walk a crocodile in some city back east which always just struck me as amusing so maybe that, just for kicks.

17. What slang word or phrase is most overused?
YOLO

18. What music do you hate?
I really struggle with country and rap.

19. What was the last sporting event you went to?
An RSL game last fall.

20. What is your warmest birthday memory?
Hmm, I guess my 18th birthday. My enthusiasm for birthdays [and large groups of people] declined throughout high school and I had to work until 10pm that year so I wasn't expecting much either way. I was dead tired and not paying attention when I left work so I got right up next to my car before I realized that my best friend was sitting in it, which would have scared the crap out of me if I'd been fully awake. She and my family and a few other friends had come to surprise me and we went out to dinner. It was just the right amount of surprise and attention :)

21. Who is there in your life that you would take a bullet for?
Family, friends. Honestly, I have a sneaking suspicion that, if put in a life-threatening situation, I would either completely freeze up or throw myself in front of whoever had the gun pointed at them, regardless of who it is. As it is, I can't say I've lived through such an event so I can't really say.

22. Do you have any brothers or sisters?
I have two brothers and one sister which felt like a big family growing up [two of my friends were only children] but compared to my in-laws [six boys and three girls] and most families out here we seem pretty itty bitty.

23. Do you ever want to change your name? If so, to what?
I know people with common names seem to complain a lot but honestly I love being an Emily. There's a certain social comradery in it. Growing up it was a bit of a game to think up middle names but I'm okay with where I'm at, it lets me keep my maiden name.

24. Why were you given your name?
I had a great aunt named Emily on my dad's side. There are pictures of us together when I was really small but she passed away before I was old enough to remember her.

25. What song do you always sing along with?
Anything that I know even a handful of lyrics to, especially if I'm in the car by myself.

26. What goals do you have for your education?
I'm learning how to learn outside of formal education right now. I don't really have a drive/desire to get a masters degree or anything so I'm picking out interests and using the internet as my teacher. I want to make sure that I keep learning, even if it's in less structured/official ways.

27. If you had your own TV network what would you put on it?
Everything I like to watch with no commercials and some days it would just be a live feed of cute animals.

28.  What is the most disgusting thing you have ever eaten?
I make it a habit not to eat overtly disgusting things as I have a serious aversion to throwing up and a pretty touchy gag reflex.

29. What was the first thing you learned to cook?
Probably macaroni and cheese. Toast probably came first but that doesn't count as cooking.

30. Where is the farthest you have travelled from here?
From Utah? Boston, MA - but that was from NY. From Utah while living in Utah? Eagar, AZ for a family reunion. I just double-checked that because we flew to LA for a friend's wedding a few years ago but that's even a shorter drive. Good heavens.

31. What is your favorite dessert?
Mousse or creme brulee.

32. What was the first concert you went to see?
My first real concert was Switchfoot, what, three-ish years ago?

33. Do you believe in life on other planets?
I suppose.

34. Who do you try to impress?
Uh...most people unless I'm having a good day in which case just myself. I've always been a bit too sensitive about what other people think which is not a fun way to live.

35. Who taught you to cook?
My mom and the internet.

36. What did you do to get pocket money as a child?
Chores outside of the normal ones I had, especially ones done for neighbors. My parents paid us for shoveling neighbors' walks, raking [and once weeding] a neighbor's gravel driveway, watering neighbors' gardens, etc. If the neighbors tried to pay us, though, we had to take the money back, haha.

37. If you had 10 minutes on a popular TV talk show what would you talk about?
Probably whatever book or pet peeve was mentioned first. I can ramble. 

38. Are you a morning person or a night owl?
Neither? I enjoy watching a sunrise and it can be really easy for me to stay up late but honestly I'm too attached to my sleep to really commit to either of those.

39. How old is "old"?
Hmm, 45? I'm going to regret saying this when I'm 45, I can feel it.

40. Do you believe God has a sense of humor? Why?
Oh, absolutely, for the same reason that good parents have to have a sense of humor.

41. What was the last book you read?
The last book I finished was What Came from the Stars which I finished this morning. I'm currently on The Kingdom of Little Wounds. Both will be included on my monster book review post in March.

42. What is your favorite way to spend a Saturday?
Sleeping, reading, spending time with friends, and doing just enough chores to feel like I didn't completely waste the day.

43. Which one of your friends lives the furthest away?
All of my high school friends who are back on the east coast.

44. What do you like to cook?
I'm more a baker by nature, fruit pies being my signature among my in-laws, but I'm really interested in Asian noodle recipes.

45. What was the best vacation you ever went on?
I lump all of my family's summer trips to various east coast beaches together because they're all warm, happy memories but my favorite was either our trip to Washington DC [for the museums, mall, and subway] or Boston [for the old part of the city, the unexpected Holocaust monument, the worst game of Mexican Train I've ever played, and the bean song. Carrigan knows what I mean].

46. What fitness goals do you have?
Being able to reach the top of a double set of stairs without being winded. And doing ten push-ups without effort. I'm rational so I set the bar low :P

47. What movie can you watch over and over again?
Almost anything that isn't just a flat action movie. Tim doesn't like rewatching things so if I'm home alone I'll occasionally toss in a movie, the selection of which depends entirely on my mood at the time. I particularly enjoy ones that make me laugh but can also make me cry. 

48. What is the funniest gift you have given?
Probably the stuffed animal armadillo I gave my sister last year just because it was so random. Aside from that, a small crocheted Charmander that I gave Tim on our second [?] Christmas together as part of a long-running inside joke [with myself] about the birthday present I'd given him that year.

49. What do you think about when there is nothing you have to think about?
Whatever rolls into my brain based on my surroundings. It's never consistent, unless I'm feeling down in which case it's generally NY.

50. What is your favorite thing about summer?
Thunderstorms and taking walks at 10pm without needing a jacket. Hiking in the mountains.

51. If you had to act your age what behavior would you change?
The way I talk when I see a cat, but that's never changing so it's a lost cause.

52. What song makes you want to dance?
Anything with a decent beat if I'm in the mood, though I think I dance without music more often than with. Socks and a tile floor are an inspiring combination.

53. What is the funniest thing you have ever heard a child say?
Okay, I didn't hear this personally but it's too adorable not to share. One of my nephews had recently taken to holding his fist, with index finger pointed up, really close to his mouth when he was saying something angry. His dad walked in on him hitting one of his older brothers.
Brother-in-law: "[Son], we don't hit people."
Nephew - holding fist in front of his mouth, very emphatic: "Yes, dad! Yes we DO hit people!"

54. If you could live in any other country for two years where would you go?
Probably somewhere in the UK - for ease of language and also because I really want to travel around the UK.

55. What do you miss from your childhood?
Trees. And being able to see my friends every day.

56. What do you have that is of great value to you but no value to anyone else?
I feel like all of my answers to this would come across as really melodramatic. I guess just the odds and ends I hoard. There isn't really a method to what I hang onto and what goes in the garbage but they're all little things that remind me of people and places like movie tickets. Once in a while I find something productive to do with them.

57. What would be the very first thing you would do if you won the lottery?
Pay off whatever debts we have, put a down payment on a house, chuck a portion of it into savings, distribute most of the rest to family, etc and then buy some fun stuff. Bleh, I'm such an adult.

58. If you could be a professional athlete which sport would you play?
Personally, I don't think professional athletes should be a thing...

59. When is the last time you were lost?
The last time I was really lost was my last visit to NYC when I got turned around on the subway but even then it's kind of hard to get really lost in NYC. I've give the grid-system that win.

60. What slang word or phrase do you love to use?
I'm entirely too white to say most of the slang I occasionally use so I'm not sharing it with you!

61. What makes you feel old?
Remembering that the kids in my class [12-13-year-olds] weren't even alive for 9/11.

62. What would you buy from a thrift store?
Books and sweaters.
63. What music are you embarrassed that you like to listen to?
This generally happens with some of the over-played music on the radio that doesn't have much to it except a catchy tune. I'm not a hipster, I swear.

64. When have you seen Karma at work in your life?
Anytime someone comes to my office with a serious attitude. If you're going to be rude and refuse to listen to me then I'm not going to help you. I am more than willing to be Karma's handmaiden. 

65. If you were to write a novel, what would it be about?
Considering I have three ideas in various stages of production this is kind of a loaded question. I guess my main intent right now is stories that focus on relationships like friendship and family rather than having romance as the primary relationship/plot point.

66. When was the last time you really laughed?
Last Friday night comes to mind. I was at the university's student fiction journal's reading night going over the stories that had been submitted and there were too many hilarious lines to quote them all but my favorite was "She fine" from a story about alien abduction in reference to a character's well-being. 

67. What meal is your mom's best?
They're all good but I always love her sausage and peppers.

68. If you could change one thing in society what would you change?
If I could force people to live more altruistically I probably would.

69. Favorite childhood movie?
Beauty and the Beast and, oddly, The Hunt for Red October which my siblings and I seriously watched at least five times before I was a teenager.

70. Where will this blog be in the next four years?
Who knows? It'll be 2020 and that's a weird thought!

man i need some chocolate

For the last two days we've been experiencing this weird mutant fog that never really leaves even though the sky has been cloudless and the sun is warm this week. We've got some really nasty inversion right now as well and I think the fog and inversion have joined forces to destroy the world by blocking out the sun. I mean, I admire their tenacity but I'd really rather prefer that spring come and I not get lung cancer from all the crap in the air. You can taste it, seriously.

Tim and I were out for a bit last night after sunset when the fog had moved back in to reclaim what little territory it had lost during the day and it was catching all the light pollution in a way that just reminded you that you couldn't see the mountains or the lake. I realized that the visual of this weather phenomena is weirding me out so much because when the sky looks like this in NY it's the middle of August and there has been no weather to speak of for at least a week aside from an oppressive haze of humidity and now there's a monster thunderstorm rolling in. But in UT it's the middle of winter, we've just recently had loads of snow but now there's no weather patterns to speak of and so the inversion descends to choke anyone foolish enough to go outside. So my brain keeps wanting to think that there's a big storm on the way but there isn't and we get true thunderstorms so rarely out here that it's very disappointing. Anyway.

It's that time of year again where everyone's asking what your plans for Valentine's Day are. I feel a bit like a wet blanket in regards to most holidays but especially this one. I'm just not an overly romantic or affectionate person and I figure if I'm going to have a fun, fancy night out with my husband I'd rather it not be the same weekend as just about everyone else. I'm having my younger brother over for Sunday dinner. Does that count as plans? Also, because I work at a university, I get Monday off for Presidents' Day but Tim, who does not work in the education field, does not. So I'll have a day to myself which will have the best plans of the weekend. Namely, stocking up on discounted Valentine's chocolate. Let's be honest, this is what being an adult is good for.

We got Tim's new computer desk last week which meant shifting our other desk into the second bedroom and spending a Friday evening playing desk-assembly. Our living room looks like command central now, though, which is a plus. It's nice to have an actual computer desk for the computer now and I get the added bonus of keeping the writing desk to myself. It'd be nice if we could keep them in the same room since we like the proximity even if we're working on separate things but there just isn't enough room. I have a sneaking suspicion that this new arrangement will help with my writing though. It's just easier to feel organized when sitting at a desk than lounging on the couch.

I'm currently on the 9th of the [now] 12 books I've set myself to read this month [then it's on to the Stormlight Archive series which I've been promising Tim I'd read for ages], though I only made it about 70 pages into the 8th one before it got set aside for content reasons. And, as a treat to myself, I just ordered four books and might be adding a fifth [and sixth?] before the day is out. Granted, three of those are books I've already read but have been needing to fill out my collections. It's a really good thing that I have a strong sense of self-discipline when it comes to paying bills, guys, or I would have bankrupted myself long ago. I was introduced to a new site a while ago that I think will help me meet my book owning goals without decimating my adult financial goals: thriftbooks.com  It's a great discount site and has a surprisingly wide range of titles, including more recent publications. They also have free shipping on orders over $10 [I got three of the above mentioned books for that] which is an awesome deal. You can earmark books you're looking for and if they don't have a copy currently in stock they'll email you once one arrives. Right after ordering this morning I got an email that one of my wishlist books is now available and just over $5 so now I'm wracking my brain for another title to get with it so it ships for free, any suggestions? This may be a discounted way of shopping for books but it's still dangerous. Approach with caution and emotional stability only, kids!