something that scares you

The other night I had the tv on while I bounced around doing various chores and projects. At one point I realized that all of the shows that had come on had mentioned the idea of doing something that scares you. I had to laugh because at that moment I was cross-stitching which is an activity that has never caused me anxiety.

The idea has been floating around in my head ever since, though. Do something that scares you.

I've always been a pretty cautious person. I've always had a low tolerance for pain and I think, even as a child, I was very careful about doing something that might hurt. I can remember running around in the woods by our house and participating in rough-and-tumble play as well as climbing all over various playground equipment but at some point my natural caution deterred me more and more from similar past-times. That's probably why I've never broken a bone, sprained anything, or gotten stitches.

While I'm sure I could stand to be a bit more adventurous in my outdoor activities, I'm not sure physical recklessness is necessarily the end goal of the "do something that scares you" philosophy. Growth happens outside of our comfort zones. We don't change if we keep doing what we've always done, or avoiding what we've always avoided - as the case may be. Some of us may need to try skydiving, some should go swimming in the ocean or ride that huge roller coaster at the theme park. For others, doing something that scares us may mean making eye contact with someone on the bus, raising your hand to ask a question in class or opening up to someone about how you're really feeling.

Writers often have their own specific set of fears, whether it's fear of failure before you even get yourself to begin, fear of letting go of your plan and allowing your characters to tell you what the story is, fear of writing a crappy first draft or fear of sharing your work with someone and being made fun of.

We have to be willing to try things that scare us. I'm scared of a number of things on both of those lists but more and more I'm coming to realize that some of the things I want in my life will only be obtained by stretching myself and taking a few leaps.

Sometimes the chances we take might not work, sometimes the landing hurts, but the pain is never permanent. The lessons we learn from each experience, however, are priceless. The life of  the late Maya Angelou is a wonderful example that our lives are cumulative - we should not devalue any experience because, one way or another, it becomes a part of us and who we will be.

I don't know about you guys, but I think I'm going to try more things that scare me.

i'm too cold to come up with a good title

*Disclaimer* I'm super tired and hungry right now so please forgive any spelling or grammatical errors that may have cropped up during the writing of this post.

First off, I just saw this video today and this guy has some really cool stuff to say about the messages children's movies send. You should watch it. Don't worry, I'll wait.

Is that not cool? His thoughts went in a different direction than I had been expecting them too and I'm so glad! Not because I thought it would be bad, but because what he ended up talking about is something I hadn't really considered but is amazing.

I love epic hero journeys, don't get me wrong, but his points about that message, verses one of teamwork, and what it may teach children are points that I can agree with. We don't need to burn all the epics, maybe we just need to even the balance a little bit.

Also, can I get an "amen" for the fact that female protagonists can be role models and the favorite characters of boys as well as girls?

Okay, moving on. ~~~

So I got severely distracted from my main WIP after reading Cinder. My creative processes are often directly related to what I'm taking in [which I think is the case for most people and why it's always the best idea, if you're writing in a genre new to you, to first start reading in that genre] so reading a fairy tale retelling immediately derailed my brain from fantasy, simultaneously switching gears and picking up a random story idea that I probably first wrote down like a year ago and forgot about. So for the last week or so I've been sidetracked writing up characters and contextual points for this new story which, while exciting, is certainly not helping Mona out at all.

In all honestly, it was probably easier to derail my brain than it might have been because I felt like I was kind of stalling out on Mona. I find that I'm really great at coming up with cool story ideas and characters but my excitement fizzes out before the story ever really gets written. Perhaps some of you can relate. This is my trial and one I've been well aware of since high school. I have notebooks chuck full of story ideas that are still waiting for some productive attention. It can be super frustrating, as in Mona's case, because I really care about this story and these characters. I want to write it but sometimes I just feel stuck.

When I encounter crisis such as this, I am reminded of how amazing the writer community is. You can find it anywhere and whether you want to immerse yourself in all of the blogs and groups or just a small portion, you can always find great advice and support. This week I found Max Kirin's tumblr and while I haven't read any of his books [yet] I love the variety of writerly things that he posts, from writing prompts to inspiring quotes to advice that he usually gives in response to questions from other writers. He's written a great post in response to people asking about how he gets his motivation back here and I'm excited to try out his idea.

If any of you have ideas or advice about how to regain that excitement or push through writer's block, please share! We all grow through the help of others and sharing our own little tricks and secrets is a great way to support each other. :)

without knowing the force of words, it is impossible to know more -confucius

This week I got to a break in my Wheel of Time quest so I finally read Cinder by Marissa Meyer which I bought for myself a few weeks ago. I did really enjoy this interpretation of the classic Cinderella story and I'm excited to follow the series as it comes out. I'm not going to review the book today though, as there's something specific that I want to pull out of it. As a disclaimer, I really did enjoy Meyer's writing and the sticking point that this post is stemming from was the only one in the book so don't think that I'm criticizing her as a writer. We all make little gaffs and some things slip through the cracks during publication.

That being said, let us begin. Today, I want to talk about physical manifestations of emotions.

This is something that all writers encounter. None of us want to describe fear, hatred, embarrassment, and sadness in the same way as every author before us. The endeavor to describe emotions' physical manifestations in new, fresh ways is an admirable one but sometimes, on our journey, we come up with some things that just don't work. There can be several reasons why a physical description of an emotional state doesn't fly:

• It's cumbersome or convoluted and confusing - no one is quite sure what just happened to your character. Do they need to see a doctor?
• It overstates [or understates] the physical effect actually produced by an emotion - aka, an over dramatic response.
• The physical effect you describe is not physically possible.

The last category is where my example from Ms. Meyer falls.

"Her heart winced."

My body wants to writhe just reading that again. This single sentence is so out of place with the rest of Meyer's well crafted descriptions that it just jumped out at me. To anyone who may be confused: your heart cannot wince. 

1. It is physically impossible for this muscle action to occur in this organ.
2. To wince is to give a slight involuntary grimace or shrinking movement of the body out of or in anticipation of pain or distress. Considering, in the context of the scene, the prince, who is the hottest hotty mc'hotterson anyone has ever seen has just given Cinder his winning smile, I'm pretty sure she isn't in pain or distress.

Again, this is a singular blip in the story. It does bring up, however, the importance of matching the context of your character's emotion and what they are responding to to their physical reaction as well as the physical plausibility of their reaction. There are certain things parts of our bodies are simply not capable of. 

I frequently find examples in dialogue where people have valiantly tried to expand upon simple "he said" "she said" tags [not that there is anything wrong with "said" - whatever your teachers have told you about said being dead is a vicious lie]. Often, you might see something along the lines of "she smiled" which cannot be properly used as a tag for dialogue because smiles don't speak.

Describing physical effects of emotions can be a tricky business. Some things we know and don't depart from very often. Goosebumps are great for fear and anticipation and with this reaction we can find fun ways to describe the goosebumps rather than the fear or anticipation itself. Other times, however, you might be trying to find the best way to really convey the stress your character is feeling during a climactic moment or the devastation they feel at a surprise betrayal. 

These descriptions can be hard to come by but I had a teacher once who gave a great piece of advice. If you're trying to describe how a certain emotion feels, take yourself through that emotion as closely as you can and observe how your body responds. Do you hands get cold or hot when you are very angry? Does heartbreak feel like a hollowness that consumes your whole chest or does it feel like a cold ache that grips your heart? The wonderful thing about this sort of self-research is that everyone will describe a physical manifestation of an emotion differently because we all feel things a little differently. And if you haven't ever experienced a certain emotion, or such an extreme of one before, ask someone else who has to help you capture it accurately [being respectful and considerate of anything that may be extremely personal to them].

As writers, we will, at some point or other, write about something with which we do not have great personal experience. I wrote a short story in my first writing class in college that had to do with a deteriorating marriage that culminated in divorce. My parents were still married at the time, I had never been in a serious relationship that I could have drawn from or anything of the sort. And it showed. Our personal ignorance of topics will show in our writing but don't let that deter you. That's what research, friends, and writers' groups are for. We help each other. As it happened, one of the young men in my writing group had recently gone through a divorce and he was able to point out to me the parts of my story that didn't work or were clunky and felt wrong. He was gracious enough to share some of his experience to give me a better idea of what my characters would be encountering and feeling and the story improved because of it.

The words we use will always be important. Our choosing of them creates our personal style and refining them helps us grow. Don't be afraid to try out new things, to come up with new metaphors and descriptions for emotions and their physical responses. We are all unique and how we see and feel the world can enrich it for others if we share it. Words have power of their own, so take the time to make sure what you're writing is conveying what you want it to as accurately and fully as possible.

better than I could say it

Sorry guys, I know I've been kind of lame about posting lately. Honestly, I wasn't going to post anything this week because I've been having a bit of a hard time and I just didn't know what to say or if I had the energy to say anything. But then I stumbled upon something on tumblr that I want to share.

I struggle a lot with the bleakness in current modernist literature [and other media]. The negativity and hopelessness of this rather cynical view is something that I've never agreed with and it breaks my heart sometimes to think that people are being told that this is reality. I'm having a hard time with words this week, and I can never quite say what I mean about this topic in general so I'm just going to let Cat express what I can't.

From her tumblr:

"like tbh i feel like my problem with the "dark and gritty!!" trend in modern stories is this
there's this idea in our culture that cynicism is realistic? that only children believe in happy endings, that people are ultimately selfish and greedy and seeing with clear eyes means seeing the world as an awful place
that idealism is- easy, i guess, butterflies and sunshine and love are easy things to have in your head.
but i've known since i was fifteen that idealism- faith in humanity- optimism- is the most difficult thing in the entire world.
i constantly struggle to have faith in humanity, because it's really, really easy to lose it. it's easy to look at the news and go "what were you expecting? of course humans behave this way." it's easy to see the world and go "ugh, there's no hope there." and the years when i believed that were easy. miserable- but easy.
it is hard work to see the good in people. it is hard work to hope. it is hard work to keep faith and love and joy and appreciation for beauty in my daily life.
and when moviemakers and tv producers and writers go "omg!!! all characters are selfish and act poorly and don't love each other, nothing ever happens that is happy or good, that's so much more realistic, that's so much more adult"
no, it's not
it's childish.
it's the most childish thing I can imagine."

I've been watching some adaptations of classic novels on youtube and this weekend I discovered The Autobiography of Jane Eyre which is really well done [push through the first couple of videos - the acting gets better and you'll be glad you did]. I'm not a huge fan of the story overall, I'm more of a P&P kind of girl [also, my mother was semi-convinced that watching the movie would make me more susceptible to getting sucked into an abusive relationship when I grew up :/ ] but the one thing I will always love about JE is Jane herself. My mother would probably say that Jane was taken advantage of, that she did not have much of a backbone or will of her own and while those she trusted did choose to take advantage of her naivete in certain areas [and lie to her], that's not a fault in her. In fact, Jane is one of the most optimistic, kindhearted, forgiving, and simply happy characters I've ever read. She strives to empathize with people, even those who have caused her distress or harm. I think a lot of people see her as weak or a push-over, but seeing the story played out again the last few days as I binged, I've been reminded what an incredible strength she has in those attributes. She's not wearing rose-colored glasses and denying the hard things that happen in life, but she chooses to cling to the good things and strives to understand people, and always forgive them.

We need better stories, ones that aren't drowning in darkness and nihilism. We need more Janes. We need more Annas and Rapunzels. If Disney movies aren't your thing, fine, but don't dismiss these characters [and others] because the qualities that make them so endearing to children and adults are shared by "adult" characters like Jane. We need more of all of them.

swan princess, an evaluation

So Disney has been making some pretty admirable steps forward in the princess department, and I'mma let them finish, but first I want to talk about why Odette is one of the greatest princesses of all time.

The Swan Princess came out in 1994 so if you haven't seen it yet, get your butt over to Netflix and watch it. Being 20 years old, the film does have it's share of corny lines [although is also has some amazing ones] and cliche moments but it also has one of the freakiest villains I ever saw before Dr. Facilier came along and most importantly, for the sake of this post, it still has one of the most progressive princesses in animated film.

Odette's not a warrior by any means. In fact, she comes off as fairly delicate and beauty-pageant-esque. You see that she was a tom-boy when she was little but it's apparent that as she's grown up she's focused more on developing what we might term "womanly wiles." This doesn't mean she turned into a brainless barbie, though. After getting swept up in the initial love-at-first-sight-let's-get-married-today montage, Odette pulls the brakes and asks Derek why he wants to marry her:

Derek: You're all I ever wanted. You're beautiful!

Odette: Thank you. But what else?

Derek: What else?

Odette: Is beauty all that matters to you?

Queen Uberta: Derek, what else?

Derek: What else is there?

And Derek's eloquent question effectively cancels any wedding plans. Odette later explains that "I need to know that he loves me...for just being me!" This girl is demanding more than immediate physical attraction from her potential partner and refuses to compromise despite knowing that their union had been orchestrated by their parents since they were children. We know from the opening song that she's never been weak-minded and this is the big point where she proves that she still has will of her own.

Now, that's all and well for a beginning, but it's still early. Almost immediately after this scene Odette is kidnapped, her father killed, and she is put under a spell that keeps her in the form of a swan unless she's on a lake when the moon rises - a pretty victim-y situation if there ever was one. This is a familiar set-up - the famous damsel in distress situation and Derek, the repentant prince, is more than ready to fill the shoes [boots?] of the knight in shining armor role. The twist, of course, is that Derek doesn't recognize Odette, as she's a swan, and gets the misguided impression that this swan is actually the beast he must defeat in order to find and free her. [you know, that idea actually has potential for a modern metaphorical-spin-off reinterpretation, if anyone is interested] This puts Odette in the awkward situation of not getting killed by the man she is trying to communicate with.

For me, this situation is pivotal in providing Odette with the opportunity to become something other than the helpless victim and she quickly seizes the chance. From here on out, Odette basically does all the [successful] work of setting things right. Not only does she repeatedly reject Lord Rothbart's overtures [that man seriously makes me want to take a shower] but she is active in finding a way back to Derek, braving his repeated attempts on her life to show him that she is the swan and then escaping Rothbart's clutches to be present at a critical step in the spell breaking process - which of course goes wrong [thanks Derek]. In the end, Derek is the one who slays the Great Animal and saves her life, but if Odette had just paddled around her little pond, sighing and pining away for a prince that needed some serious direction, he never would have been there to do so. 

There's a balance to this dynamic that I really enjoy and wish was found more in princess-type films today. Odette doesn't have to be transformed into some masculine character that bludgeons people in order to take control of her own situation and salvation and there is still room for a love interest that literally has to work for the woman he loves, in more than just killing a monster. 

Odette: the princess that demanded more than "what else is there" from her prince and worked to free herself. Such sass.